Simpsons Porn Story: Slumber Party Chapter 5

AUTHORESS’S NOTE: Once again, thank you all for reading and reviewing! Every word is treasured. :) Enjoy chapter five, and please continue to R&R! And a bit of shameless self-advertising: I posted the first chapter of a new fic I’m writing “Staggering Serendipities”, and I’d love if you guys checked it out. :)

A while later, when the severe awkwardness had worn off a bit, I won the game with any Scrabble-fanatics favorite word: qi.

Qi? What the hell is a qi? Mr. Burns had asked, unsure if he wanted to challenge me or not.

I explained, Qi is the crucial force that Taoists and other Chinese think to be innate in all things. Unhindered transmission of qi and equilibrium of its opposing forms in ones body is believed to be vital to good health in conventional Chinese medicine, and

Okay, okay. You can shut up now. You win, admitted Mr. Burns reluctantly, but with a slight smile on his face.

I smiled and offered my hand. Good game, sir. Youre quite the Scrabble player.

Says the winner? Ho, ho. Smithers, your sycophantic ways are sometimes rather maddening, you know, said Mr. Burns as he wiped the board clean of its blocks.

Mr. Burns, Im no sycophant, I said, helping him put the items away in their box. I want nothing from you.

Mr. Burns scoffed. Oh, really? So, if I were to dock you of your pay, demote you to being a safety inspector, and rob you of the luxuries your fortune proffers you, you would still flatter me the way you do?

Once again, Im going to have to correct you, Mr. Burns. Its not flattery I offer, because flattery by definition is insincere or excessive praise, I began. Neither of which what truth could be.

Mr. Burns looked from the board to me with surprise. Truth? Smithers, your compliments are excessive and seldom very true, and you know it.

I hesitated. Well, I think theyre true. But maybe my sight is just impaired by my

Mr. Burns looked anxious. But your what?

I paused. Should I just say it? By my love. By my love. I love you. No. No. I already know he doesnt love me, so whats the point anymore? By my appreciation of youas my friend.

For the briefest of moments, Mr. Burns seemed disappointed, but then he smiled and said, Well, okay, then. Ill never call you a sycophant again, okay, old friend?

My heart hurt from holding back my feelings yet again. I was so sick of it, and it made me feel physically ill more often than Id like. Okay, sir, I said, affecting content levity. So, what would you like to do now?

Mr. Burns attempted to rise from the carpet but needed to me to help him up, which I gladly did. He then said, Thank you, Smithers. Now, lets seewhat should we do He began ambling to the family room and looked to a cabinet near the TV. We could always watch a movie, he began as he paced toward it.

I tried to stop him.

I failed.

Smithers, what in blinking blue blazes is this? exclaimed Mr. Burns, turning towards me and holding up the one video I prayed he wouldnt find: an adult video entitled Bob and Jerry XXX, the cover featuring two males in a compromising pose.

I felt like someone took a match and lit my face ablaze as I stumbled towards Mr. Burns and stammered, IIdont know. Ive never seen that before. Sometimes I was an exceptional liar, but somehow I doubted that this was one of those times.

Well, then how did it get in your movie cabinet? questioned Mr. Burns, looking curiously at the cover.

I gulped. Oh, God, I actually gulped. I thought only cartoons did that so on-cue. UmI dont know, maybe one of my friends brought it over as a jokeHeh. Yeah, thats probably what happened.

Mr. Burns raised his eyebrow at me and gave me the same look he did after I kissed him before the supposed apocalypse. Hmmmwell, Im up for some good, old-fashioned pornography if you are.

Dear God! Ohwell, its not really like the ones youve seen.

How do you know? Youve never watched it, have you? Mr. Burns asked cunningly.

I chuckled nervously. Well, no, but

Then lets watch it and find out.

I couldnt breathe as Mr. Burns tried to shove the video into my VCR with all his might. Didnt he see the cover? Didnt he see that it was two men? What was he going to think? And what if he didnt believe my stupid lie? I almost began hyperventilating.

We sat there on the couch as the film started. And by God, it started quickly. No lead-up. No storyline. Just sex. Between the men. Hasty and rough. I wanted to look at Mr. Burns expression to know what he was thinking, but I was too damn embarrassed to do so.

A few minutes into it, I was feeling more uncomfortable than perhaps I ever had before. I reached for the controller and turned the video off, now looking to Mr. Burns. He looked like he had seen corpses rise from the grave. Whatthe hellwas that, Smithers? he questioned.

I looked away. Like I told you, my friend gave it to meI dont know

Ive never seen anything like it! cried Mr. Burns. I didnt know exactly how to respond, so I simply waited for his next comment. Smithers, do males actually do thisin real life?

Astounded by my friends ignorance of the modern world, I stuttered, Well, well, yes, they do. Certain men, of course.

Mr. Burns shook his head in incredulity, his mouth still gaping. You know, I think a movie wasnt the best idea, he began. Then he abruptly added, Lets play Twister.